After finishing your meal, such as it is, you have one more beer and finally head out. Despite all the excitement this morning, today has actually turned out to be kind of a drag. On a whim, you backtrack to the alley where you found Nightwatchman’s secret bunker. This time, you push and pull on the dumpster in every imaginable way for at least half an hour, but it doesn’t move an inch.

Could you have hallucinated all of that earlier? How drunk were you?

Back at your apartment, you find that the second season of “Glee” has arrived from Netflix, so you stay up late into the night burning through episodes and working on a twelve pack. You eventually drift off to sleep, and don’t wake up until almost three o’clock the following afternoon. Your friends still haven’t returned any of your messages, so you turn the TV back on. Later that evening, you’ve formulated some pretty strong opinions about the set list for regionals when, without warning, the world literally ends.

All life on Earth could probably have used a hero. Next time, maybe nut up a little. We’re just saying.


(sorry you’re the worst superhero ever.)

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